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Don’t let your ego prevent a favorable divorce

by | Mar 3, 2021 | Family Law |

If you’ve already come to the conclusion that your marriage is over, the best you can now hope for is a favorable divorce settlement, whereby you are able to get the child custody arrangement that feels optimal to you, and a share of the marital assets that you feel that you deserve.  Of course, doing this is not easy, and it requires dedication and preparation.  Even then, some prospective divorcees are hindered by their ego getting in the way.

Everyone has an ego — it is an important aspect of being an individual.  The ego is there to protect your interests and often comes out to fight in times where you feel vulnerable, such as during the process of divorce.  When the ego is triggered, a person can act in a defensive and protectionist way, meaning that they are not able to consider both sides of the argument and get easily agitated.  The following are ways in which you can prevent your ego from getting in the way of a successful divorce.

Focus on truth

In a contested divorce, your ego might interpret every statement being made as an attack on you.  When this happens, you are no longer working with the truth, but how you are interpreting situations.  It’s important that you try to take a step back from the situation and focus on facts.  This will help you and your divorcing spouse to work together more productively.

Identify and work through fear

Fear is something that everyone has to face up to.  The ego tries to protect us from fear and fight against it.  But to make progress, we must accept uncertainty and have the courage to work through it.  Your fear of post-divorce life could mean that you are unwilling to accept reasonable divorce settlements, for example.  Building up the courage to be hopeful can counteract this.

If you are going through a divorce but you’re not able to finalize the divorce without conflict, it’s important that you think about reconsidering your strategy.


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