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How to get your equilibrium back after a bitter divorce

On Behalf of | Aug 18, 2021 | Family Law |

No divorce in Pennsylvania is simple or pain-free, even if your marriage has unquestionably been on the rocks for a while and you both knew you were headed for divorce court.

Under the most favorable circumstances, you and your ex-spouse can at least talk to each other about key issues like child custody and child rearing without sparking an emotional blowup.  Sometimes, however, there are fierce emotions that crop up, especially when betrayal, lying, cheating, dishonesty and other actions that cross the line have occurred between spouses.

Many powerful emotions can erupt and boil over as the formal divorce discussions start and crucial decisions must be made.  Those intense feelings can last long after the divorce is final.

Conquering negativity after an unpleasant divorce and resuming your life

It’s not easy to walk away from your fury at your ex, say experts, but it can be done.  It requires patience, some optimism, creativity and a willingness to try various solutions — plus plenty of resilience.  That sounds like a tall order, but here are some tips to help:

  • Focus on your kids.  They are probably hurting and bewildered.  Your strong presence in their lives is more necessary than ever now.
  • Seek professional guidance from a therapist.  An outsider’s perspective can be invaluable as you move forward.
  • Confide in friends and family you can trust.  You need outlets for your anger so you can vent in peace.
  • Strive to find ways to diminish your rage toward your ex, if not right away, then in the near future.  Put your feelings down on paper to release those negative feelings.

What comes next?  Gradually expand your circle and start looking for new things to occupy your thoughts.  The day will come (believe it!) when you won’t think about your divorce at all.

Do whatever makes you feel less stressed, confused and overwhelmed during this difficult period in your life.  Getting help from someone sympathetic and knowledgeable as you navigate the divorce process can be reassuring.

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